Rude guy with a weird laptop
Story from the repair cafe.
I volunteer at a repair cafe, fixing people's appliances, electronics, and sometimes, computers. A few months ago, I got an... interesting repeat visitor. Let's call him Guy.
Event 1
Guy is rude to the staff, keeps loudly coughing without covering his mouth, spills coffee all over the floor and does not clean it up.
Guy has a very thick Eastern European accent and immediately asks if I speak Russian. The rest of the conversations were in Russian. He tells me about his uncle in "Dnepropetrovsk" (it has been Dnipro for a while now), and how he just came back from China. Back from abroad and coughing like that? Bro, just stay home, don't spread whatever you have.
He likes to talk, many people do, that's fine. But the laptop he brought was something. It's some no-name thing (Guy said he bought it in China), but with surprisingly decent specs (which Guy was bragging about, too). It was dirty, as are about 2/3 of the laptops I get. The problem he described was unresponsive keyboard keys, which likely means the keyboard needs to be replaced, and he brought the replacement. At least he is prepared.
As I start opening the laptop, I noticed that several bolts on the outside of the case were stripped or damaged, to which Guy said he "tried to undo the bolts using a kitchen knife". Uh, okay. When I get the laptop open and start looking at how to reach the keyboard, I realize... it's impossible. Since it's a cheap no-name brand, the keyboard is sandwiched between the internal metal chassis and the plastic case, but they are melted / welded together, making the keyboard entirely inaccessible and non-replaceable.
I tell Guy that the keyboard looks non-replaceable. He says "just fix it". I explain that the only way would be to take off EVERYTHING, then break the chassis off the case, which would pretty much destroy the laptop, and I have no idea if I would be able to put the chassis and case back together afterwards, or how well that would hold the keyboard. I suggest using an external keyboard, but he is stubborn and still wants me to fix the keyboard. How? We are out of time anyway.
Event 2
Guy enters the room, heads to the refreshments table, puts two bottles of water into his bag. Then he just puts the laptop on my desk without saying a word, heads back to the refreshments table to drink coffee and eat donuts. After a few minutes, I come up to him and ask if he decided what he wants to do with the laptop. He says "you told me not to bring the replacement keyboard". I did not say that. So I agreed to try to see if I can try to do something about the keyboard without replacing it.
Kind of an odd problem - two keys (not a whole column or row, surprisingly) are not working, and Ctrl gets stuck into pressed state. I could not even see the traces that the key is supposed to short underneath. Cleaned the ribbon connector between the keyboard and the motherboard, too, without results.
To test the keyboard, I had to turn the laptop on, and oh boy. Desktop is an icon dumpster, some religious Christian texts are still open, a dozen of "assistants" are popping up all over the screen. Windows has English and Russian layouts for the keyboard, but Russian is not the classic ЙЦУКЕН, it's ЯШЕРТЫ phonetic. Wild.
While I was working on it, heard another story about how Guy filled out immigration papers for his acquaintance, and "didn't get anything for it, not even a hundred dollars". How Christian of him.
I tell Guy that unfortunately I cannot do anything unless he wants me to destroy the laptop, explaining the situation again.
Guy: I will replace it then. Should I get a Walmart brand, or a name brand?
Me: Name brand would last longer, and would be easier to repair if anything goes wrong. ThinkPad has a really good reputation, although they are pricey new.
Guy: No, I want a large laptop.
Me: They have different sizes. Oh... ThinkPad IS a laptop.
Guy thought the "Pad" in name meant it's a tablet.
Event 3
Guy is back, now he has a Chromebook and an old iPhone.
Guy says that his Chromebook is slow. Proceeds to open Chrome with four tabs: some email web client, two VK tabs (one for music, one for chats), and YouTube. Yeah, these sites themselves would probably consume nearly all of Chromebook's 4GB RAM, if not more. I did try to update it and turn off some processes, but otherwise there isn't much I could do.
Then there is his old iPhone 7. The phone is also dirty, the screen has three horizontal lines across the top, and the very bottom does not respond to touch, making it impossible to type on the bottom row of the on-screen keyboard.
Me: The stripes on top are purely cosmetic artifacts, but touch does not work. I do not see physical damage though. Was this phone opened or fixed before?
Guy: I think so. How did the screen get damaged?
Me: I suppose moisture or dirt got in and shorted some microscopic contacts on the display and touch connectors. But I am not sure.
Guy: I did accidentally drop in in a bathtub though.
Well. I guess he could have started with that.
Me: There is no way to fix a smartphone screen, it needs to be replaced.
Guy: Do you have a replacement?
Me: Generally no, and not for this specific model. We also normally don't fix smartphones.
Guy: Do YOU know how to replace a screen?
Me: I have done it before, for myself, on old phones, but results weren't great. You'll have much better luck at a phone repair shop.
Guy: But if I buy the replacement screen, are you able to put it on?
Me: I am ABLE TO, but as I said, you should go to a phone repair shop.
Our repair cafe primarily deals with house appliances and larger electronics. Although some fixers have the tools that could be used to work on smartphones, events are usually not intended for that fine level and length of work (sometimes hosted outside, almost always on folding tables, no dust protection, etc.) and there are plenty of local smartphone repair shops that could do it better and faster.
Event 3
With less than one hour left in the event, Guy suddenly appears and corners me on a short break as I am drinking a cup of water.
Guy: You told me to get the screen replacement for this phone, so I did. Can you fix it now?
Me: I told you what needs to be done, but never promised that I would do it.
I look up the iFixit page for replacing the screen, and it is a few dozen steps, including peeling off the original screen, the least fun part.
Me: There are dozens of steps, and there is not enough time left to do it today.
Guy: Can you take it and fix it at home?
Me: No, I will not.
Guy: Okay, I will come back next time.
Please don't. We don't fix smartphones, I told you. There are a hundred places in the city that do it though.
Then the event organizer stops by and says "I wish he would stop showing up, he is so rude to everyone". I guess repair cafe's policy does not allow them to just turn people away.
Event 4
Guy is back. Thankfully there was a lull in visitors, so I could fix that crusty old iPhone.
Naturally, I dread heating and prying the screen off, dealing with all the glue. But as soon as I take the two bolts by the charging port, the screen pops out all by itself. Well, this is clearly an aftermarket replacement without a seal, which explains why it failed, and why dirt got into the phone. The inner part of the seam between the case and the screen was CRUSTY. The new replacement does not have a seal either. Not my problem.
Guy: Wow, I got the screen replaced for only the price of the screen!
Me: And an hour of my time!
Guy: I owe you one.
Me: You can donate to our repair cafe.
Guy gets up and leaves. I don't think he will do that.